Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
