when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
