I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
