I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
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