My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
