I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
