Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
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