A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
