Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
