did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
