Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Panties = found
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
