girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Randomize
