I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
