I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
