i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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