Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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