After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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