Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
it hurts more in the daytime
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
