You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
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