dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize
