For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
