I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
