saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
