I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
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