apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
