Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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