She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
You should frame my arrest warrant.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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