Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
