She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
