you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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