I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Randomize
