She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Randomize
