We're facebook friends in real life
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
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