My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
