You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I need water and some morals
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
