I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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