id be glad to
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Randomize
