): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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