I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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