So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
