If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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