I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Randomize
