she was so not down for the gang bang
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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