ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
