i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
