I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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