hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
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