I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
