no you cant smoke seaweed
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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