I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
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